Thoughts on Aging

Getting older is a drag. It's way better than the alternative of course, which is pretty much, well, dying. It's a privilege to get older, and I am conscious of that, but it's still a drag.

We've lived in our house for 15 years now. One problem with moving into a brand-new house is that all the appliances are exactly the same age. After 15 years, they're starting to wear out at the same time. This past weekend it was the furnace and water heater that gave up the ghost simultaneously. With no notice, the water heater ruptured, with water spraying all over the back of the bathroom wall that Sweetie had just recently finished painting. The blower on the furnace then kicked on, sucked some water into it, and fried our furnace in just seconds. $5,400 later, we are now in a warm house with hot water to spare, but with a few economies that need to be made.

Where to start? Obviously, the big one is the food budget. I could certainly do better about meal planning and using leftovers more wisely, so that's one. I've been wanting to get rid of cable TV forever, so this might be my chance. But yet another potential "hole" in the budget occurred to me.

My hair.

Ouch. After a second grader kindly pointed out how gray my hair was getting last year, I starting coloring it. Well, I started having it colored. I have a terrible history of pretty spectacular hair disasters, most at the hands of others but a few at my own, and I don't dare take on this task by myself. Rather than going lighter, which I have always done, I went quite dark. I liked it. The Morticia Addams vibe works for me. No more gray, and it looks good with my eyes. But it's pricey. I'm a notorious tightwad, and it's hard for me to even justify a pedicure, let alone having my hair colored every few months. I've managed to rationalize it one way or another for the past year though, and haven't lost any sleep over it.

But here's where my brain won't just quit and be happy. Yes, I covered the gray. But it's still there, underneath the dye. The same goes with Botox or "fillers" like Restylane. It's not as though your wrinkles disappear--they're still there, just frozen or filled with something. I can pretend that I'm not 46, but I am. Is that a bad thing? Am I supposed to be embarrassed by that and do everything I can to look 36? Is looking younger than you are really being your best self, or is it trying too hard to be something you're not? Why not just let my hair go gray again and wear it proudly?

Jamie Lee Curtis does. I think she's awesome. I've always liked her, especially in "True Lies", so when she decided a few years ago to just "let it all hang out" and wear her years proudly, I cheered her on. It's a little harder when it's me, but I really do think she's gorgeous and makes 51 look good. I don't make 46 look all that great, at the moment. But I will. Even with gray hair.

Just in time for the dishwasher to die on us.

Oh, and Happy Anniversary Sweetie. Thanks for 22 years!