I feel a bit at sea these days. Sweetie and I were talking about something this evening and we didn't know the answer to it. I decided to call my dad when we got home and ask him, because I know that he knows the answer. But of course, that's a bit difficult right now. Technology is an amazing thing (I'm still astounded by email), but to my knowledge there is no reception where he is at the moment. Pity. He would have plenty to say on the subject. I've been so lucky to have both my parents for so long, and becoming fatherless, even at the age of 47, is a bit of a change. I asked my dad for advice on so many practical things, from refinancing to career moves, real estate to books. Thank goodness there's Google, though it isn't quite the same.
My mom is having a tough time. She and my dad were sweethearts for nearly 60 years, and now he's gone. Then yesterday their poor dog died. He had been declining, but we hoped it was because he was sad about Dad. But no, turns out he probably had cancer. That dog had lousy timing. Well, I guess it's good he didn't get super sick when my dad would have known about it. But still, a death per month is not a good statistical move. I volunteered my lovely pooch (said very tongue in cheek, though he's getting better) to soften the blow, but it wasn't particularly appreciated. Lots of changes for Mom, none of them easy.
Sweetie and I went up to Park City today for the Sundance Film Festival. It felt fabulous to be up above the inversion and see blue skies and sunshine. The air was surprisingly warm up there, and even though I haven't skied for years, I sure wanted to today! The movie, "Flypaper" with Patrick Dempsey and Ashley Judd, was stupid and unbelievably profane. Their talents were completely wasted in it, and I wouldn't be surprised if it went straight to DVD, if even that. The people-watching was fabulous, though! Lots of affluent ski-resort babes with their skinny jeans tucked into their boots, hair in pony tails with ski caps on and their Ray Bans perched on top. Tan skin, crows feet from too much sun, all blonde for some reason. Pashmina wraps are still the big thing apparently, particularly in black. Can't criticize their taste--I borrowed Emily's at my dad's funeral and it was tres soft and warm. The men were weathered and generally older than the women. Silver hair is big with that crowd, but the women mostly color theirs. There were about 3,000 of us in the theater, which was lovely as theaters go. Then we drove back through Provo Canyon and had dinner at Shoots in Riverwoods, which I remembered as being better than it was. Still nice, but a little bland--must have changed chefs. But it was still great, and I didn't have to cook it (I did make the kids thai chicken when I got home, so they weren't too jealous). Riverwoods had a big facelift last year, and there were cobalt blue lights on all the trees and fire pits set up high everywhere. Very pretty, and it was a nice date.
I've seen some great progress in my students recently, but I'm not sure how much can be attributed to me. Sometimes, and more often lately, I think I might not have "what it takes" to really make a difference in these kids' lives. We have them for such a short period of time every day, and they have so many things going on in their lives. I want them to have the absolute best skills so they have a chance to get out of their situations when they're older and make better choices for themselves and their families. I do try to be diligent, but I think some people have a natural gift for it that I feel I'm lacking. But what would I do instead? There is much to be said for doing something that doesn't pay well because you feel like it's the right thing to do and that you're helping to make life better for someone. There is also much to be said for getting the "most bang for your buck," and if I'm going to be gone from home for 6.5 hours every day, it would be nice to have things like a larger salary and benefits.
I haven't used my degree since I left Leo Burnett back in 1987, which the angel/devil on my shoulder tells me is a change for the better since I was in the morally corrupt field of advertising and what good could possibly come from a life in that? But then the angel/devil on the other shoulder says that I had a real talent for that morally corrupt world and if I used that talent for good instead of evil, I could have a very fulfilling career, make money, teach, and buy really nice shoes and pashmina wraps. Can't really think about that with such a skimpy resume, though. I took some sample GRE test questions online and confirmed that I am actually quite stupid and should definitely not consider grad school. And yet I keep going back to it, as I have since 1986 when I took the GMAT and planned on getting my MBA.
Oh I don't know. I may never know. I doubt there is one right answer, anyway. Just pick something and do it. That's what my dad asked me to do when I couldn't decide on a major. So I figured out that my hodgepodge of credits seemed to fit in with the Communications department, and Advertising looked like the most interesting major in there. There was no divine reason that I majored in it--I just needed to pick something. I suspect that the same will be true with grad school. I have accepted that it will always gnaw at me if I don't just do it, so I might as well. And since I'm much too cheap to pay full tuition at UVU, I'd better figure out something here at BYU so I get free tuition.
I wonder if they would actually let me into the MBA program here.....?
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