This has been a very pivotal week for our family. Lots of drama and emotion. Rage, sorrow, frustration, hysteria, despair--and that was all from me.Yes, it was college decision week.
Drummer Boy is graduating this year, and he applied to three universities: Stanford, Washington University in St. Louis (Wash U), and BYU. He got accepted to Wash U and BYU, though I'm sure Stanford instantly regretted their decision. Wash U is in my home town, and Drummer Boy's aunts, uncle, and grandparents live within minutes of campus. He could have lived near my side of the family for the first time in his life (with the exception of Emily, who lived here until just recently). We picked out his dorm options and looked at the calendar to choose his summer weekend to go through early orientation. I was already planning on coming out for Parents' Weekend in October. They were very generous with their scholarship offer, but as one of the most expensive schools in the United States it still left a hefty chunk to be financed through loans and us. Enough that we weren't sure we could do it, and we worried about Drummer Boy starting out in life with a burdensome amount to repay. But if we could work things out, they had to be notified no later than May 1.
BYU, on the other hand, was dead silent on the financial aid front. Drummer Boy more than qualified for a good scholarship, but they weren't going to release any awards until "late April", whatever that meant. Mid-April came and went. Late April started, and still nothing. April 29 at the latest, we were told. Nope, sorry, April 30 by noon. I checked at noon. Nothing. My sister checked. Sweetie checked. Drummer Boy checked at school. I was furious, and a few choice words escaped my mouth a little louder than I had hoped while I stewed at work (sorry, Sally). Should he just accept Wash U's offer? We'd have to rush like mad to get everything over-nighted in time. Finally at 2:58 pm the message hit his inbox. It was very good news. It was good enough to tip the scales in BYU's favor. Just like that the decision was made.
I am so proud of him and gratified to see his years of hard work rewarded, but honestly he and I were both more than a little disappointed that Wash U was not in his immediate future. It's a great school, has a beautiful campus, and would afford him many opportunities that he wouldn't have otherwise.
But choosing BYU brings amazingly good things into all of our lives. He'll get a great education, have the opportunity to go on Study Abroad trips, participate in the Honors Program, pursue his love of foreign film, continue with his music, and have his pick of an incredibly diverse selection of courses and professors. As for me, I already know the dorm Drummer Boy is going to live in--I've driven past it dozens of times. When he plays with the BYU drumline during football games, we'll be cheering him on in the stands. He's going to take a class from Sweetie this fall, and I can kidnap him to go grocery shopping every so often. If he wants some home-cooked meals, we'll invite him and his roommates over for Sunday dinner. Not every week, but if he needs us, we'll be here. I'll be able to see him mature, become independent and resourceful, and grow into the adult I'm already starting to see.
Now that I've found the silver linings that are ours specifically because he's not going to Wash U, I can't imagine having him 1500 miles away and seeing him just a few times a year. I'm so excited that he will still be close enough for me to continue being his biggest fan.
Good job, babe! I'm so proud of you!
6 comments:
Wow! A college student of your very own!
There's always grad school he can go away for.
A lovely post. Thanks!
And you have saved him from the evil pleasures of an Iced Mocha at Kayak's. I'm sorry my son won't see yours on campus this fall.
I just want to point out that you haven't driven past the dorms dozens of times in the last few days - it's been over many (ahem, many) years. Don't want people thinking you've become obsessed or anything!
Another silver lining? Even though he won't live near me all the time, I'll still get to see him when I come visit. Can't say the same for Stanford.
Dave,
It's so interesting to be discussed in the third person on my own blog. Ultimately, it was Chris' decision and not ours. We told him we would make it work no matter what he chose. And we're not the ones who filled out the applications to 15 schools for a child who wasn't interested in them. I believe that was you.
I don't think there is anything wrong with saving the debt load for grad school and avoiding it entirely in undergrad. Maybe that's my small-town Utah mentality, but I'll take it.
And enough with the stupid philosophy references. I couldn't care less about your "bad faith" pleas. You might want to study philosophy for 30+ years like Travis has before you start trying to pick a fight.
It was the disappointment phrase that got to me. It sounded like you and Chris were unhappy. I apologize if I misunderstood that. I only want you and Chris to be happy. BYU is certainly a good place for an education.
My own experience with applying to many different schools is that my son was not taking any initiative to research and apply to ANY schools and I did not want him to be left without a choice when it came down to the wire.
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