Christmas Is Coming!!!

So Sweetie and I had a date at University Mall tonight. Just the two of us! We Christmas shopped for several tough cookies, and I made out like a bandit. Sweetie spoiled me rotten with new clothes (which I have completely forgotten about until Thursday) and he handpicked the chocolate truffles I am giving him. The best kind of shopping--no guesswork.

We had to cancel our trip to St. Louis because of the weather. I really miss my family, but there was just no way we could safely do the drive. So I'm going to fly out in January (just me!) to see everyone, including my sister from NC. We're going to do some sort of home repair project for Em and can probably even get my uber-cool brother involved. Only the crazy musician won't be there--she'll be tending bar in the Big Easy. Hopefully this summer we can all see each other.

Lots of presents to wrap tomorrow, a few errands to run, probably plenty of snow to shovel, cookies to bake, and a Honey-Baked ham to pick up. I wish I were in St. Louis, of course, but we're going to have a great Christmas anyway.

Merry Christmas!

I Impressed the Heck Out of My Kids

Last night I had one of those cooking experiences that thankfully comes along pretty rarely.

I decided to make goulash and spaetzle, a Hungarian/German meal that we had a lot growing up. I got the meat cut up with onions and paprika, browning in a pan and smelling so good. But when I squeezed the garlic through the press, it came out all dark brown and disgusting smelling. The cloves weren't soft, the head of garlic looked fine--but it wasn't fine! So I fished out the pieces of meat that were "contaminated", and added garlic powder instead.

I usually make homemade rolls for Sunday dinner, but I decided to do crescent rolls from a can because we don't get out of church until 5:00 and if I make them ahead of time they mysteriously disappear long before dinner is done. As the goulash was cooking, I popped the rolls in the oven to cook. But somehow my hand must have bumped the temperature dial and it was on 200 instead of 375. So the rolls didn't cook. I put them in longer at the right temperature, but they looked a little funny. No matter. They're still edible. But I stopped paying attention long enough that the goulash burned on the bottom. Not great, but we could just not eat those pieces of meat.

Then I made the spaetzle, and as I was draining the noodles in the colander, it tipped into the sink and half the batch went right down the drain. Poor Kitty Boy felt so bad for me. He fixed his plate of dinner, and as he reached for a roll all his goulash slipped off the plate right onto the floor. At this point I was laughing (seriously). I cleaned it up, started on a second batch of spaetzle, when we heard a crash in the pantry and a huge bag of chocolate chips from Costco fell off a shelf and spilled all over the floor.

Now we were all laughing. Well, Sweetie wasn't because he wasn't in the kitchen when everything else had happened before. Tinkerbell and I had hot dogs, and there was enough decent goulash and spaetzle for the others. Nothing like a warm fuzzy Sunday dinner!

And throughout the entire ordeal, not one swear word left my lips. I pointed this fact out to the kids, and they were most impressed. Kitty Boy even thanked me.

Problem Fixed!

Our van CD player broke and "they" sent it off three weeks ago to be fixed. I've had no music in the car all that time, and I think that's been my problem! I rarely get the computer at home because five other people are vying for it, so the only chance I have to let loose is in the car--which has been curtailed as of late.

So I created a new playlist for my blog with some of my happy Christmas songs on it. They're not particularly religious in any way (okay, not religious at all), but they make me happy and sing and dance in a way that will generally embarrass any and all of my offspring. Mission Accomplished!

And the Amazon order is in! The lights are on the house! The wreath is on the door! The house is a mess! The tree still isn't up! It's starting to look a lot more like Christmas around here!

Ho Ho Ho!

Don't Mess With Me--I'll Take You All On

I feel incredibly feisty today, and not in a good way. I'm not a big holiday lover. It throws me off. Too much time for things to go horribly wrong. Not that anything went horribly wrong, but every day brought it's own special surprise, if you know what I mean. From home foreclosures (not ours) to flaky sisters (mine) to broken dates (ours) to daughters who need to be beaten (not the little one), it was quite a week. I was furious about Black Friday fatalities, shocked at Mumbai violence, and generally ticked off at everyone and everything that crossed my path. Even my cats were annoying.

I downloaded the soundtrack and score to Twilight, and that hasn't been helping me one little bit. Try listening to the same music that vampires were ripped apart to and it doesn't do much to put you in a Zen state. Sort of just adds fuel to the fire. Now I'm listening to Jack Johnson, which is helping a little bit.

I'm going to go put the Christmas wreath up. I need a little attitude adjustment.

You're Still the Only One For Me, Babe

I saw Twilight again today. Still so in love! *sigh*

Oh, Edward!

I had a great day today. Elvira and I went to see "Twilight" at the mall. I LOVED that book, really liked "New Moon" a lot, enjoyed "Eclipse" the second time around, and struggled with "Breaking Dawn." I decided I was really more of a wolf girl and admitted I had a thing for Jacob. Edward was just too whiny, after all.

Oh, Edward! Robert Pattinson was perfect as Edward. I'm such a vampire girl now. The movie was great. It was perfectly cast, and the screenplay was really great. There were some little things added that fit right in. Things like dialogue between the high school kids, and Charlie and his gun. Really funny. The audience was completely packed with people seeing it for the very first time. There were probably four men in the whole audience. I bet 99.9% of the people had read the book, and everyone got excited at the same parts. Elvira just had the biggest grin on her face the whole time, and I'm sure I did, too.

Then tonight I took Things 1, 2, and 4 to see "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" at PHS. It was so good! It was staged very much like the movie, but was still good. The kids had such great voices, and had no inhibitions at all about really embracing their goofy selves. I've been singing the songs since I got home. PHS puts on a good play, that's for sure!

I really needed this weekend!

I Need A New House

I really don't want to offend anyone in my ward or neighborhood. Really, really don't want to. But I have to get out of here. We've lived in our cute little dollhouse for 14 years next month. Our cute little 3 bedroom, 1 bath (soon to be two) home with 1666 sq. ft. and four children. I grew up never living anywhere more than a year or so, and I've been here nearly 1/3 of my life. I might just possibly explode.

So, I need to move. Soon.

This is what I need. Five bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, preferably with a basement. We Midwestern girls need our basements to escape the tornadoes. Don't even start with the whole "we don't get tornadoes here" thing. There's always a first time, Missy. Walking distance to BYU for Sweetie since he doesn't drive much anymore and we're down to one car anyway.

Here are my neighborhoods of choice: Tree Streets (not because of cjane (though that's a plus--but I've always loved it there!), Stadium Heights, Indian Hills, Edgemont, Grandview Hill, and those super cute streets just east of Kiwanis Park with University names. It would be hard to walk from Grandview, it's true, but I like it up there. You'll notice my neighborhood isn't on the list. It's not that I don't love my neighbors, because I truly do. I just want a different view. Provo looks very different when you're looking towards the west, rather than from it.

I feel a little like a hamster in a cage here, because we have so many big hobbies that take up a ton of space. Sweetie has his easel and a big watercolor table in the garage that has never even been used. Drummer Boy has, you guessed it, a big drum set. We have a Lego table with, help me out here Em, probably close to 15,000 Legos on it (no, I really don't think I'm exaggerating). Elvira has tons of art supplies, books, etc. Tinkerbell has enough Barbies to stock a Toys-R-Us, and Kitty Boy has lots of everything. We have over 1,000 DVDs and a couple of thousand books (that's what happens when you're married to a film professor). And I have loads of sewing and craft supplies. It's a darling house, and it was even featured in the Hidden Garden tour in 2006. Gorgeous landscaping, lots of built-in shelving and storage things.

But Drummer Boy is starting college next year, and dorms are expensive. I would love for him to have his own room so he's not sharing a bunk bed with his middle school brother. Am I greedy? Unreasonable? I don't think so. Just getting a little claustrophobic.

And one of the biggest perks? You get to have sue-donym as your backyard neighbor!

So, know anyone who wants to buy a cute little dollhouse with a beautiful garden that looks a lot bigger from the outside?

I don't want to study!

I'm sick of Stats. I don't want to study anymore. If I'm lucky, I'll end up with the same C+ I got in 1984. Waaaaa.

But we're going to Phoenix for Thanksgiving, so I'm still happy! Sunshine, warmth, yay!

I Hate Diabetes

Okay, so you know how much I love Heidelberg.

I hate diabetes even more. Elvira has both Type I and Type II diabetes. Type I means she can't manufacture her own insulin because her pancreas shut down. Type II means she can't absorb the insulin she is injected with. So on top of all the insulin she takes in, she also takes an oral medication (twice daily) every single day of her life to open up her cells so they will accept insulin. She used to have seven, count them, seven shots a day at a minimum. Sometimes up to 12 if she was sick or had trouble getting her blood sugar down. Then she got her insulin pump, which has made things different, but not a whole lot easier.

I just spent the last 30 minutes trying to upload all the readings from her pump onto the computer, figure out why the stupid monitor that is attached to it isn't working, fixing it, reassembling everything about six stinking times, because you don't know if the monitor is working until you put it all together again, and then trying to reattach it to a sleeping teenager. Envious? Don't be. Because as frustrated and mad as I get at this STUPID disease, Elvira has it way worse than I will ever have it. If she forgets to test, her pump malfunctions so she doesn't receive insulin, or she gets sick and her blood sugar launches into the stratosphere, I don't feel a thing. I used to get up every morning at 3 am to test her (doctor's orders), and sometimes give her shots in her sleep or try to rouse her long enough to take in some carbs so she wouldn't go into a coma during the night. But that's not what we do anymore. She seems to be able to tell in her sleep when she's low and wakes up and tests. But my neighbor Sue had a sister who went into a diabetic coma, suffered brain damage, and died months later. So that's in my mind every single day of my life. I used to have nightly dreams that I went in to wake her and she had died. Will she still be here to graduate from high school? Will she be healthy enough to go away to college? What if she or her husband loses their insurance? Will she tell us so we can make sure she gets her medications? Will I outlive her?

She told me awhile ago that even on her best day, she still feels sick. She remembers a little bit what it was like not to have diabetes, but she was diagnosed when she was eight, seven years ago, and the memory is almost gone. Even before she was sick with this, she was still ill with a thyroid disease. So she would have to remember right after she turned five what it was like to feel healthy.

How did this happen to her? My grandmother had a brother with Type I, so maybe I caused this. Sweetie's sister has the same thyroid disease, so maybe it came from him. The doctor said it was probably triggered by a virus, and I remember she was sick a few weeks before she was diagnosed. What if I had taken her in to the doctor instead of just treating a little cold at home? Could they have done anything? Probably not. I blame myself every single day for this. Being the Diabetes Nazi doesn't help things--she gets very angry with me and things get worse quickly. Backing off doesn't help either. She's a busy girl, and it's easy to forget to jab your finger with a lancet and squeeze the blood onto a test strip five times a day. I'd sure want to forget that.

I don't blame her at all. I'm totally on her side. I just hate diabetes so much.

Yes We Can!

Wow! What a night! So exciting! We all six stayed up late to watch Pres.-Elect Obama's speech. Very moving and inspiring. I thought Sen. McCain's speech was great, too. Very gracious. I'm thrilled the whole thing is over.

I miss Chicago like crazy today. If we still lived there, Sweetie and I would have grabbed the kids and headed down to Grant Park. I love that park--it's where I fell in love with Chicago when I was 13 years old. The picture above is of the crowd leaving the amazing party for Pres. Obama last night. I'm going to love saying that, by the way.

I am so hopeful for the future. The sun is peeking through the clouds and things are going to get better. And my awesome nephew Jacob is home from Iraq for good! And maybe his brother Robert won't even have to go a year from now.

Why were people so afraid of this? I got so many emails with weird rumors and generally stupid things in them about Obama. Concerned neighbors came by to warn me of his "true" background (socialist, Muslim, terrorist, take your pick). I had students who were literally in tears because their parents had them so worked up about all the terrible things that would happen if Obama were elected. Kids were fighting with each other, spouting nonsense they had heard at home. They had no idea what they were saying, they just wanted to fight. You know, no matter who won, the sun would have come up today and life would have gone on. Take a deep breath, people.

Now I just have to wait for my parents to calm down...

I Love Heidelberg

I love Heidelberg, and I'll tell you lots of reasons why.

* Until I was married, it was the longest I had ever lived in one place at a time--almost 3 years.
* My brother graduated from High School in the castle.
* My sister had her prom--in the castle.
* We had school field trips--in the castle.
* Our MIA rode our bikes from our uber cool chapel across the river to--the castle.
* We had ward picnics on the banks of the Neckar River while they illuminated the castle with fireworks.
* It still gets me choked up when I see pictures of it or hear the name "Heidelberg."
* My little sister was born there.
* It was the last place my family lived before my brother left for college and we kids were all split up.
* I saw my first opera--The Student Prince--with my mother--in the courtyard of the castle.
* I made a friend for life--Holly.

Saturday morning Holly and I met for breakfast here in Provo. We've known each other since we were ten. They had just moved to Heidelberg from Okinawa, and my dad had just finished a year away from us in Korea. We lived in different housing areas, so we didn't go to elementary school together. But we became fast friends through our ward. We had only joined the Church two years before, so I looked to her and the other girls to "show me the ropes."

We went to each other's birthday parties, Girls Camp, Primary, and navigated all the catty girl-smack from the other Beehives. She never made fun of my incredibly ugly swimsuit with the apron. I don't know if I've ever had a "best friend" because I generally moved every year and I sort of never developed that skill, but Holly would have to be way up there.

Her family is awesome. Her parents were so kind to me, and her brothers and sister were annoying and cute. I was the youngest so having younger siblings around was a new thing for me. But then, when I was 11, my mom had my sister Emily, and Holly's dad delivered her. He even forced my dad to come into the delivery room and watch. Yay Dr. H! I don't think anyone else would have been successful in that endeavor.

Then my dad got his own battalion to command, and we moved away--two hours north. I was devastated. It was not a beautiful city like Heidelberg. Giessen had been nearly completely destroyed during WW2, and it had a very cold, industrial feel to it. Not really its fault, I suppose, since the bombs were allied after all. I made new friends, was yearbook editor, got my first kiss, visited Amsterdam, Paris, London, Switzerland, Austria, and left just over a year later. We army brats pack a lot of living into a short period of time. It's sort of an occupational hazard. But I was sooo homesick for Heidelberg, and I really wanted to go back.

So my Mom and Dad stuck me on the train and let me ride all by myself back to Heidelberg, where Holly and her parents picked my up at the train station and whisked me away to their apartment. We went to a middle school dance so I could see my other friends from school, and I got to spend the whole weekend with Holly. It's true that you really can't go home again, but this was pretty darn close.

Over the years, we've both lived lots of places. Our family visited Holly's family in Emporia, Kansas (aka The Coldest Place on Earth). They lived next door to my surrogate parents, Jack & Janet. Jack was our bishop in Heidelberg and the doctor that stitched my face back together after my run-in with a chain-link fence in sixth grade. I saw Holly pretty regularly in the HFAC at BYU. I would be coming out of class and she was always rehearsing with some choral group or another. She had a gorgeous voice even when we were kids. Then she went on a mission, I graduated, and we lost touch for lots of years.

But now we're back in touch, and I'm so happy. She just lives in Orem, one town away. And you know the best part? Even if I had just met her today, I would still love her. We can talk for hours about new stuff, not stuff that happened when we were 10. That is the proof of a real friendship, I think. Lots of people can reminisce, but most people can't still find things in common. She loves the same books Elvira and I do, we both have close families, love opera, and we see things alike in a lot of ways. And she has one of the best laughs in the universe. You can not help but grin from ear to ear and be instantly happy if you hear it.

Heidelberg was very good to me.

Clean Bill

Well, it seems that I'm perfectly healthy. Yay me! Nothing showed up on the CT scan. The bloodwork (about 12 tests) were all fine except for showing I was fighting some sort of virus. I might have walking pneumonia, but then again I might not. He's putting me on an antibiotic to be safe. I wasn't making up anything--there is validation for all of it. But I guess it can be all blamed on a pesky virus. I wonder how many thousands of dollars were spent testing me for everything under the sun when it will probably just cost a $5 Z-pack to treat it?

I'm Starting to Fray

Okay, that's not really me, because I'm not blond. Other than that, that's me in the picture. Except my knees weren't bent and my arms were extended straight back above my head with an IV sticking out of the right one.

This is a long story which I'm not going to tell right now. I'm just going to start it from today, when I had my big date with the CT machine.

7:00 am Arrive at Orem Community Hospital
7:01 am Start getting teary
7:30 am Special Delivery of six 6oz. cups of contrast dye mixed with cranberry juice with instructions to drink one every ten minutes. Yum! (not)
8:45 am Am finally called in where I am told that a new CT scanner is being installed so I will be walking through the parking lot in my lovely hospital gown to a CT scanner in a trailer. I check, but they're not kidding. I do get scrub pants and a blanket, but I still feel like a dork.
9:00 am I'm lying on the scanning bed while she figures out how to work this new machine. Then she sticks an IV line in my arm which HURTS a lot. I start to cry.
9:10 am Still crying
9:15 am Still crying, mixed with apologies. I blame it on stress, but I'm starting to think it's true, naked fear coming out.

The woman who did my scan could not have been kinder to me. Her husband has cancer and she is very sensitive to how scary everything is. Not that I have cancer. That's kind of the point. I don't know what I have. I would love to think it's nothing at all. I am inclined to think it's "something." She wiped away my tears so I didn't have to move my arms. Another woman popped in and stroked one of my hands. Lovely, lovely women. So comforting. But I was still scared out of my wits that this could be the start of a new reality for me.

I thought of my dad, which always makes me cry anyway, and know that he doesn't want this for me. Of course, no parent wants this for their child. But he REALLY doesn't want this for me, because this is his reality and has been for a very long time. I thought of Sheri Mower, and of course thought that I know very well how this whole thing could end. I should take courage from Sheri, but I don't. I thought of my whole family, and how if my genes betray me, what could that mean for all of them? I really don't want to be the weak link here.

And then I just stopped crying. I remembered that my tears aren't going to fix a thing, that I'm close to hysterical at this point and should probably be slapped--hard. I knew that my sister Suzanne would probably volunteer to do it, because she's tough and I am too, even though I'm not feeling it at the moment.

9:20 am No longer crying, scan is over, walk back to hospital, change.
9:45 am Home again
9:50 am Passed out cold on my bed

I'll get results on Thursday morning, hopefully.

Be Still My Heart

OH MY GOSH! I wasn't all that excited when the Twilight movie trailer came out a few months ago. Looked okay, but a little silly. I just watched the new trailer that came out on Friday. I CAN'T WAIT!!! But I think the poster is a little weird looking. Edward doesn't look that weird in the trailer.

Here's a link.

World of Music

I added a playlist! I found all sorts of stuff that I haven't been able to buy off of iTunes because it's German. I can get Peter Schilling, Nena, Fool's Garden, and funky versions of songs I love (like "Sunday Morning" by Maroon 5). Click on the link at the bottom of my playlist and make your own!

We are big music people in this house. Elvira is a HUGE fan of all sorts of genres. She has great taste in music. Drummer Boy leans towards 80s pop/rock, but has a killer appreciation of jazz. Definitely my son! Sweetie is a man of the 70s--Eagles, John Denver, James Taylor--but really digs Einaudi and Enya. The jury is still out on Kitty Boy. He likes lots of stuff but hasn't really focused on specifics yet. Tinkerbell is the most eclectic of us all. She loves both her dad's and my stuff, and really loves world music like Elvira. Listening to her playlists is so eye-opening, and definitely not your average 8 year-old's music.

When I was growing up in Germany, we had no TV and one radio station--Armed Forces Radio. We heard Casey Kassem, Wolfman Jack, and if the DJs liked jazz, funk, or R&B, that's what we got. Watch "Good Morning, Viet Nam" for a good idea of the gems I grew up with. I got completely hooked on jazz when the 5th Army Band came to our high school and played "Black Magic Woman" by Santana. It was life-altering. I still remember it and get chills. My brother and sisters have awesome taste in music, too. My parents mostly listened to "Easy Listening" stuff while I was growing up, so I'm not sure how we turned out so well. Now Mom listens to show tunes and Dad loves the Grateful Dead, Emmylou Harris, Abba, and the Beach Boys. Guess we rubbed off on them, after all!

For Awhile, I Had No Value

So I took my Stats test today. I felt so good about it! I studied for hours and hours, took practice tests, went to Study Groups, attended Open Labs, the whole thing. Everything I never did when I was an undergrad. I went to the Testing Center and joined the hundreds (literally) of other BYU students spending their weekend taking tests. I had my little calculator, approved scratch paper, No. 2 pencil, and a winning attitude. I worked through every problem--twice!, drew pictures for all the density curves, worked out the Z-scores, proportions, standard deviations, etc. with satisfaction and, I admit, a little glee.

I raced home to find my score online. I never can read those stupid monitors at the Testing Center that list every one's results. The kids gathered around as I clicked my way towards bliss. With a self-satisfied smile I showed my darling children that hard work really does pay off.

I got a 19%. Yes, you read that right. Flashbacks to my college years hit me like a ton of Blue Books. 19%????? How could that possibly be right? I shielded the kids' eyes from the horror. If all I got was a 19%, then I'm not a Smart Girl after all. I'm..... a DUMB GIRL!

I long ago accepted that I'll never have much value as a pretty girl with a winning personality and oodles of charm. I won't be known for my amazing homemaking skills and fabulous parties. But I always knew I was at least smart, which somehow made up for the lack of everything else.

Who am I if I'm not even smart? I have no value whatsoever. I'm just matter taking up a lot of space (way too much space). Breathing in valuable air, tainting my kids' gene pool. I've been teaching GT students under false pretenses. Should I contact their parents? And what about poor Sweetie? My brilliant professor-husband had been duped! I successfully hid my transcript from him until after the wedding, but I could no longer hide my stupidity and shame. What if he started cruising the Computer Science department looking for Smart Chicks? Oh, the horror!

So I did what any stupid, irrational, value-less girl would do. I went to Costco.

I figured that the one thing I might have control over is my looks, since obviously my IQ was barely above "Village Idiot" level. I bought lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, salmon, chicken breasts. Nothing even remotely bad for you made it into my cart. Well, there was the Granny's bread and the chicken noodle soup, but at least it was the low-sodium kind. If I could lose a few pounds (all right, I know what you're thinking), spend a few thousand on plastic surgery, and get hair transplants, I just might have a shot at being presentable. Maybe I could learn to like scrap booking! Or at least keep a clean house. Okay, maybe not that. But I could scrapbook if I tried, I just know it.

I made it home and forced myself to face my shame. I logged onto the BYU site and sadly clicked onto my scores again. The 19% was gone now, replaced by a very pretty 91%. Turns out they originally input my score as "13" points instead of "133". And there is still the short-answer section to grade, which might bring me up a little bit more. Yay me!

Could it be? Am I a Smart Girl after all? Maybe that's reaching a bit. But at least I'm a Moderately Intelligent girl.

I can live with that.

I Heart BYU

I can't believe I'm writing this. After 27 years of moaning and groaning about being stuck in Utah, stuck at BYU, stuck in Provo, etc., I have to admit that I really love it here. How did this happen? Maybe I suffered some psychological trauma and I only think I love it here. Maybe I'll come to my senses some day and wonder how I could have possibly been so deluded. But I think the worst might be true--I love BYU.

How did this happen, you might well ask? Well, I'll tell you (of course you knew I was leading up to this all along!).

Currently I'm taking Statistics 221 in the evenings. I go to class two nights a week in the JKB (Sweetie's old building before they completely gutted it and changed it beyond recognition--in a good way). Two other evenings I go to a lab in the TMCB. So tonight I went to my Open Lab where a very nice TA who is young enough to be my son answered my final few questions about the homework to the point where I could submit it and earn 100% (Yay Me!). On my way to the lab I dropped Drummer Boy off at International Cinema to meet a couple of friends to see a political documentary. I had about 45 minutes to kill, so I headed over to the JFSB (Sweetie's new building--pictured above) to study in the gorgeous courtyard.

Now, I feel very proprietary and protective about the JFSB. Sweetie helped design it, and the archways you see in the picture above were actually designed at my very own kitchen table. I sat at a little table (either the 2nd or 3rd from the right in the picture), called Em on my cell phone and chatted for awhile, and then studied for my upcoming test. It was overcast, breezy, and perfectly lovely. It definitely felt like Fall was on its way. Then I walked over to the SWKT to pick up Drummer Boy.

You see, I'm also very fond of the SWKT. Sweetie ran International Cinema for over six years, most of which time the films were shown in that very building. Don't even get me started about the Varsity Theatre years. Oh, the stories I could tell. But I digress. We used to have private showings of IC films so Sweetie could preview them and make sure they were fit for public consumption. The kids would run around, write on the chalk board, pretend to give talks at the podium, visit the projection room, and run up and down the aisles until they were exhausted. Not during the films, of course, but afterwards when we were finished. Elvira read the subtitles to "The Umbrellas of Cherbourg" when she was about seven. I was so proud of her!

On our way home, I could see the lights on in the football stadium. They were probably getting ready for tomorrow's big game. Lots of students were walking across campus on their way to the big Fall Fest in the WSC (used to be the ELWC, Wilk, etc.). Did I mention that Fall was in the air?

It was lovely. And I realized that while I was spending year after year wishing I was somewhere else (sometimes anywhere else), my family and I had become a part of campus. And it had definitely become a part of me. Drummer Boy is applying to Yale, Stanford, Washington University, and BYU this year. I'm so proud of him, and he has a very good shot at each one of those great schools. But I can't help but hope that he chooses BYU. And maybe he'll be smarter than I was and let it seep into his veins without a fight.

What I've Learned About Fraud

Well, this has been an enlightening day. Sweetie and I spent the morning at the credit union and the police station making reports. There is a chance we'll see at least some of the money back, but there is also a chance we won't. Because it was a VISA/Debit card, it isn't insured like a regular VISA is. Still no idea how the number got stolen, although I did have to use it to buy an e-book for my Stats class. It was with a big publisher, but I had never used them before. We'll probably never know.

So, here are a few valuable lessons learned:

1. Never use your VISA/Debit for online purchases. Or bad things might happen.
2. If you must buy online (and sometimes we must!), use a separate VISA/MC that isn't connected in any way to your banking accounts.
3. Pay cash whenever you can for groceries, etc., to limit the times your number is exposed to the world.
4. Monitor your checking account often--daily, if possible.

It could have been so much worse. It could have been at the beginning of the month when our house payment and other bills hadn't cleared yet.

I still feel trigger-happy, though.

My Sarah Palin Moment

Let me preface this by saying that I am no fan of Governor Palin. I could go on and on about that, but it would upset my mother, who is a big fan.

Today we found out that someone in Georgia has been using our VISA number and wiped out our bank account. They made about eight transactions on Saturday before the Risk Management angels noticed something was up and froze the number (thanks, guys!). But the damage had been done. Tomorrow morning we go to the bank to file all the paperwork to see if we can get anything back. Fortunately we still had some money in our savings account, and all the bills had been paid this month. Could have been way worse.

Sweetie thinks it was used by people evacuating from Hurricane Ike. He always likes to ascribe noble motives to gypsies, tramps, and thieves. Not me. I just wanted to shoot them. I'm not even a good shot, but I still wanted to pull out my Sarah Special and blow them away. There had better be starving children involved to even partially justify this. Otherwise, I might start channel-surfing FOX news when I think no one is looking.

I'm still gifted and talented, right?

Well, my GT career lasted all of about one day before I realized it was just the one thing too many. I should have followed my gut last spring and just not attempted it. I adore the kids, I love Annette to pieces, but I just overextended. As soon as I get home from SSV, I turn right around and head up to BYU three nights a week for Stats (I got 100% on my homework this week--yay me!). That leaves me no time with the other three kids, and I need to be around home with the teenagers. They're all great, good kids, but they still need a mom. And I probably need them even more.

I'm Gifted and Talented Again!

I felt sad about not teaching GT this year. So when M asked me if I would teach a 5th/6th GT class after school, I said yes. I originally said no because she told me it would go until 5:00 every day! Waaaaayyyy too long for me. I still have four little kiddles of my own to spend time with! But then I found out that GT only goes until 4:00, and that I think I can do. Tinkerbell got into GT too, so I would need to pick her up anyway. Might as well teach and add to the income a bit. It makes for a long day, but it keeps me out of trouble.

Happy Birthday to Me

It's my birthday! Happy Birthday To Me!

Currant Jelly

It's currant jelly time again! So far I've made 19 pints of jelly, and still have about that much to go. This is the biggest crop we've had ever. That cool spell in May really made a difference. This is the best tasting jelly, and it's just gorgeous when you hold a jar of it up to the light. It just glows this beautiful red.

I also went to the Orem Library and checked out about 20 80s anthology CDs. I know that sounds excessive, but I got a few songs off of each to add to my "collection." I'm listening to the B-52s even as we speak. I figured out that I really don't like ska, but like Depeche Mode and The Smiths a lot. My sister Caro loves to tell people that Tinkerbell's favorite song is "Girlfriend in a Coma." It makes me so proud (sniff sniff).

No More Drama

So my mom told me last night that my life is like a soap opera, and she was so right. So no more drama. I'm too tired.

My interview at Freedom went great, but I would rather stay at Sunset. For all its warts and crazy kids headed for juvenile detention, I like it. I like the teachers, the kids, and the school itself. My boss has been very kind to me and generous with responsibility, and I think that means something. So if Freedom offers me the job, I'm turning it down. I would rather tutor kids in math and reading, I think.

Secondly, Kitty Boy decided after all to go to Dixon. This was not an easy decision for him or us, but I do feel good about it. He'll be riding the bus with all the other neighbor kids going there, will have the same homework load they do, and get to wear pretty much what he wants. He even gets to do summer band and play percussion like Drummer Boy (Kitty Boy might need a new name now).

Thirdly, Tinkerbell is more than likely going to come back to Sunset. This is the hardest part of all because she is doing so well at Freedom, but it's a drama-free move for us. Less driving, less gas money, more friends in the neighborhood, walking to school, the whole shebang. I do worry about her being bored, but she is thrilled that she'll have next to no homework, unlike now.

Fourth, forget the baptism dress. Em sent her a beautiful dress for her birthday that is completely perfect. She looks darling in it, it fits her perfectly, and that's the end of it. I'll use the fabric I bought to make a couple of American Girl dresses to practice on maybe. Or maybe not.

I'm all signed up for Stats, but I may even drop that. I passed it way back in 1983 or something ridiculous like that, but I don't remember a thing and I could stand to get a higher grade in it. So maybe I'll take it and maybe I won't. And maybe I'll just forget about grad school for awhile. I am the only kid in the family without a master's, but I'm the only one who seems to be bothered by that. And what would I do with an MA in Mass Communications anyway? Work in advertising again? I doubt it. Maybe a non-profit. But until I figure that part out, I should probably put those plans on hold.

I'm still going to make jelly, and try my hand at the other stuff. But I'm going to try to enjoy it. And if I don't, tomatoes compost really well! And maybe I'll just wait on dry-pack until my husband is actually in the country and can do it with me.

Thanks, Mom. You're the best!
XOXOXOXO

Help! Stop Me Before I Go Nuts!

For some weird, compulsive reason I feel the need to completely overwhelm my life with projects and work. I wish I could hang out at the nail salon and be a Botox Barbie like my ex-boyfriend's wife probably does, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe with that much silicone in you your brain shuts off and it doesn't bother you anymore. I'm completely free of silicone at the moment, so I'm self-destructing in other ways.

I just finished three knitting projects and am working on a smocked dress for Tinkerbell. It was supposed to be done by next Saturday for her baptism, but it has been the project from hell. I've had to pleat the thing FIVE times, and then one of the pleating threads broke and pulled halfway out of the dress. Argghh. And of course I'm planning on making a matching dress for her American Girl doll. Smocked, french seams, the whole works. And I'm supposed to be working on another dress as part of a SAGA course (Smocking Arts Guild) that I need to mail in for grading. Of course, I would have to start it first. Details, details. Plus Sweetie's Jack Sparrow costume for Halloween that I didn't do last year.

I need to inventory my food storage and be ready for a massive week-long dry-pack canning session at my currently filthy house in July. It can't be filthy then, though, because that would be gross. Especially since my sister-in-law and others will be bringing their stuff to dry-pack at my then spotless house. Never mind that I'm getting Kitty Boy and Sweetie ready for a Scout campout this week, Tinkerbell's baptism (and people probably coming by my currently filthy house), Sweetie's Colorado conference, Girls' Camp for Elvira, and DrummerBoy & Sweetie's two week trip to Europe. Mom wants me to fly home for five days in August, which would overlap with Caro's birthday. But I need to fly right home for Kitty Boy's birthday and then get him and Sweetie off to Boston for a week. Then everyone goes back to school (Note to Self: School Shopping!) and Drummer Boy has his birthday. No La Push this year I'm afraid. So sad about that. But Elvira and I will still go get "Breaking Dawn" at the midnight release. That will be my early birthday present to myself. I can lose myself in blood-thirsty vampires and werewolves for 24 hours. Who am I kidding--I'll probably stay up all night and have it done in seven.

Forgot to mention picking four currant bushes and canning about 30 pints of jelly. And I'm doing peaches, pears, and tomatoes for the first time. Did I tell you I just bought a dehydrator so I can turn all our grapes into raisins and dry our own herbs?

Just so we're clear on how pathological I am, I just applied to work 30 hours a week at the kids' school, volunteer in their GT program after school, organize an after-school merit badge program at the school, and retake Stats 221 at BYU so I can apply to grad school in February after taking the GRE. Oh no! Forgot to study for the GRE! I need drugs.

Help me!

Want To See Our Yard?

I found pictures of our yard online from the 2006 Hidden Garden Benefit. It looked so nice! That was before we lost the globe willow and the apple trees in the backyard that pretty much destroyed the landscaping back there. Now we're going to lose the peach tree. So depressing. But, it has given us room to expand the garden by two 5x10 raised beds, a better composting station, and hopefully a potting shed/greenhouse in a year or so. So click on the link and we're the first six pictures on the 2006 photos and you'll at least see what the front and the vegetable garden looks like.

Also, if you're one of the lucky few who knows who I really am, you can pull up our address on Google Maps and see a picture of the house/garden. Isn't my Sweetie a talented guy?

Sleeping

Maxfield Parrish, The Sleeping Beauty, 1912


I haven't been sleeping well for months--years, really. It has been particularly bad these last four or five months. I average about three-four hours a night. The funny thing is that once school (read "job") ended on Friday, I have been racking up the sleep hours like crazy. I went into Tinkerbell's room yesterday to look for laundry and woke up an hour and a half later on her bed. After getting Sweetie and the boys off to a Scout thing on Saturday, I folded laundry for about 20 minutes, then woke up three hours later. I LOVE this. I feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever about passing out cold. I appreciate sleep so much more (don't look at the time I posted this). In fact, I'm going to bed now. Good night!

Holly-Batali

Elvira, my lovely daughter, has a pseudonym. Actually, Elvira is a pseudonym, but she has yet another. For some months now she has been publishing her work under the nom de plume "Holly-Batali" on Fanfiction.net. She's so amazing. Check out her Springtime With the Cullens. It's my favorite!

Letting Go

Drummer Boy got his driver's license yesterday! Yay!!! Of course, there is the caveat that we still accompany him on the freeway. Okay, make that Dad accompanies him on the freeway since I don't have the stomach for it. And I'll probably drive with him at night for a little longer. And maybe during the day, too. Let's just say, he's not getting his own set of keys yet, okay?


I spent the last two days helping our art teacher pack up her room. Our school is not going to have a separate art lab next year due to budget cuts. There were supplies in there from the 60s and 70s, if you can believe it. We dumped so much stuff in the trash I think the world's global temperature went up a couple of degrees. Someone must have ordered supplies every year without inventorying what they already had. We threw out so many full gallons of paint--it was so sad. But it had been sitting there for years and was all separated and nasty now. Tons and tons of stuff. But the room is completely done now, and I've been snagged for more purging duty tomorrow. It's very freeing, throwing away other people's things. It's like spending a million bucks on television ads in one day. What fun! I think I'll dedicate my college career to that. Oh, wait. I did do that.

So I came home and threw out all our old markers and pens that were dried out. I also put a whole stack of expired credit cards in the shredder. I'd been meaning to do that for ages! If I can just keep telling myself that all this junk belongs to somebody else, it will be a whole lot easier. Next I'll go online and order lots and lots of fun things and pretend someone else will pay the bill. That sounds like fun! Just kidding, sweetie.

Another One Bites the Dust

Well, another school year is almost over. Almost being the key word. Drummer Boy ended up doing very well, and Elvira is doing well, too. If she can just retake a Geometry test or two so her teacher will pass her for last term. If only ... She has been so swamped that I'm surprised she doesn't have Power Point slides tipping out of her head when she nods off.

Kitty Boy and Tinkerbell are doing great. The GT room is all packed up and generic again. We're looking forward to La Push in August and a handful of other places in the meantime. I'm building a reading list for myself and have decided I want to complete one task every day this summer, whether it's dusting the ceiling fan or sewing on a button I've been meaning to. I'm the master of starting things but never finishing them. That's my big goal. Just one thing a day. More than one is gravy, but not expected.

I love summer vacation. I really want to go home to see my family. I miss them all. I got to see Caro last week on her way from Idaho to home for good, but it was only for a few hours. Not enough. I found myself just staring at her because I've never really spent much time with my own sister and I was just trying to memorize everything about her. I want to be around my family enough that their very appearance isn't so captivating, just reassuring. I want to see Jim's store and help out. I want to take my mom out to lunch and dig up weeds at the house. I want to sit on Dad's bed and spend all the time in the world with him. I want to be there when Suzy comes with the kids. Utah is nice, but it's never going to be home.

This post ended up differently than I thought. Funny how that works.

I'm No Longer Gifted & Talented

I'm about to be just average again. Waaaa. I found out today that our GT program is ending, for the most part. They'll still have an after school component, but I won't be involved in that. I like what I do, but most of all I love the kids. Even the ones that drive me nuts are actually pretty engaging, bright, funny kids.

I don't know what I'll do next year. It would be nice to not do anything, quite honestly. I think I could make enough E-baying our excess stuff to probably match my income! Plus, I have a million jobs and projects that have been put on ice for the last umpteen years while I was working or had tiny kids at home.

Let's see ... I could have lunch with Tinkerbell and help in her class. I could get the rest of the photos in albums. I could go through our digital photos, burn them onto CDs, get some printed out, and get those in albums. I could edit our million hours of home movies and burn them on DVDs. I could catch up on my ironing and make Sweetie's Halloween costume BEFORE Halloween--what a concept! I could work in the garden and get things straightened up out there. I could research scholarships so Drummer Boy can pay for college. I could work on Dad's genealogy so Mom can just focus on her own. I could finally paint some walls, rip out carpet, lay wood floors, change out light fixtures, tear down wallpaper, and the list goes on and on.

Come to think of it, who has time for work? I mean honestly--I'm way to busy for that.

Gum Wrapper Chains

When Suzy and I were kids, she had a HUGE gum wrapper chain that we hauled all over the world with every move. I inherited it when she left for college, and continued it for quite awhile. It was like 25 feet long or something. Our friends would donate gum wrappers to the cause, and we would buy gum with our spare change just so we could use the wrappers. I remember folding links on many car trips and then adding them to the chain when we got home. Each brand of gum was distinctive and some brought back memories of different countries we bought them in.

These days, gum wrappers all come in white--BORING. I feel sorry for kids now. My kids would love to make a gum wrapper chain, I think. But where's the challenge? I wish we had kept it, but I'm afraid it's probably in a landfill somewhere.

Ours was about as long as the one in the picture above.

My Big Weekend

I had a great last weekend of spring break. On Friday I took kids 2-4 to Noodles for dinner and to see Spiderwick up in Salt Lake. It was such a great movie, and we really enjoyed it. Then we drove to the airport to pick up my mom and sister Emily! They were only here a short time, and by Sunday morning they were gone again. But we had a great visit, and the kids were all so happy to see them. I got rid of some projects and retained zero guilt about it. That's a huge step forward for me!

Back to reality now. I can't wait for school to be over for the summer! I didn't really miss my students, and they didn't miss me at all over spring break. Only one more month!!!

Like the Changes?

So, to all my non-existent readers out there--do you like the visual changes to my blog? I do!

I'm In A Bad Mood

I've never been one who could completely leave my work at work and not carry it home with me. This is very hard on my kids. I have a few students who I would really like to strangle right now, but rather than smack them into next week I came home and yelled at MY kids, who didn't do anything wrong, relatively speaking. There's never a shortage of things to get on their cases about, but I usually at least ask how their day was before I start in on them.

Not today. Today I walked in the door and banished them all upstairs. I yelled at E about her grades, yelled at N for acting put out with me, and tossed C off the computer. M didn't do anything to annoy me, but she was banished, too. I feel kind of bad about that. But really, it was for their own protection. I know that when I get in one of my "moods", the last thing I want to do is be reasonable and rational. Any contact with me will end in bloodshed, and only rarely is it my blood. By just clearing out they save us both from a lot of meanness, 99% of it on my part. I wish I weren't so quick to get ticked off. I really need to work on that.

Sorry kids.

Religion in Literature

I just finished reading "London Calling" by Edward Bloor. I really enjoyed it, though it's technically Juvenile Fiction. The main characters are all Catholic and there is a strong religious thread throughout the book that I found so interesting. I hated "The DaVinci Code" and never even finished it because I was really offended by the way Catholics were portrayed in it. I'm not Catholic, obviously, but I'm really sensitive to people being made fun of for their religion. I hate it when people think that LDS people are a bunch of freaks just because they believe something different than others.

I was wondering, though, why a book with so much Catholicism in it is "mainstream", but a book with an LDS character would be published strictly in the "LDS" world? There was more religion in "London Calling" than there was in Dean Hughes' "Children of the Promise" series, and no one outside of the LDS community has probably heard of those books. I loved those books! Both "London Calling" and "Children" were about WWII, complicated family issues, personal struggles with faith, and divine intervention. But Deseret Book published "Children" and I doubt very many "outsiders" would consider reading them because they would consider them just LDS books.

You see the same thing in film, of course. LDS characters are always exaggerated caricatures, either too simple minded or too corrupt. They're rarely "real people". Even within the LDS film community, LDS people are portrayed as extremely naive, gullible, and lacking basic thought processes. I've been a member of this church since I was eight years old, 36 years now. I don't see too many people who are that silly, though most people in the world are capable of pretty stupid moments. But to choose those particular moments to represent an entire group of people is pretty unoriginal, I think.

My Latest Playlist

I love music. Sometimes it's stuff I listened to in college, but more recently it's stuff that E has turned me onto. But it's a two-way street, since I've been around a lot longer than her and have a few cool favs up my sleeve.

I have a love-hate relationship with iTunes. I'm not crazy about song-fade, I wish I had more options about how to arrange my playlist, and I wish everything were in mp3 format instead of iTunes so my husband could listen to them on his Palm. Other than that, I'm a big fan. When E showed me how to burn CDs, it opened up a whole new world. I used to think I was technologically savvy, but that was back when I got an electric typewriter for graduation instead of the manual versions my brother and sister got. So burning CDs was a big step for me.

I don't speak French, although I wish I did, and when I try to my accent is really frightening. But I do love little cafe songs. The trick is to find songs that aren't whiny. If you've ever listened to Edith Piaf, you know how hard it is to find them. But I have a few on here that are pretty catchy and Tinkerbell loves to dance all over the house to them.

I'm also not a big original Rat Pack girl. Frank Sinatra gives me the creeps, quite frankly. But I do love covers of the old songs, and some Bobby Darin.

Enjoy!

1. Amber--311
2. Beyond the Sea--Bobby Darin
3. Boum--Charles Trenet
4. Come Fly With Me--Michael Buble
5. Dance Away--Roxy Music
6. Don't Stop the Dance--Bryan Ferry
7. Fever--Peggy Lee
8. Girlfriend In A Coma--The Smiths
9. The Lovecats--The Cure
10. Mack the Knife--Bobby Darin
11. More Than This--Roxy Music
12. My Baby Just Cares for Me--Nina Simone
13. Save the Last Dance for Me--Michael Buble
14. Slave to Love--Bryan Ferry
15. So Long, You Fool--Sophie Milman
16. Sway--Michael Buble
17. This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody)--Talking Heads
18. Verlaine--Charles Trenet
19. Via Con Me--Paolo Conte
20. The Way I Am--Ingrid Michaelson
21. When Did Your Heart Go Missing?--Rooney
22. 100 Days, 100 Nights--Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
23. 1234--Feist

Let The Carnage Begin

I'm no great writer by any means, but I can spell most words correctly. That puts me higher on the evolutionary scale than some, I suppose, yet still leaves lots of room for improvement. Not sure what I'll talk about, but if politicians can get away with it ...